After college, I didn’t have a grand plan or a job —just a curiosity about the world and a willingness to connect with others. A friend’s parent casually inquired about my future, then connected me with their former colleague, thus launching my career in banking. At that first job, I got to know the HR team, which ignited my passion and led me to pursue a Master’s in Human Resource Development. There, I made another connection, which landed me my first HR role at a larger bank, where my career really took off.
On the surface, my career might seem like a series of happy accidents. In reality, it was about following my interests, sparking genuine conversations, and learning from people who shared my passion for meaningful work. In other words, I was networking–but I didn’t think of it that way at the time. I was simply getting to know people and making authentic connections.
“Networking” often gets a bad rap, conjuring up images of awkward handshakes and endless business cards. But I’ve come to see it differently: instead of treating it as a transactional chore, I started looking for opportunities to forge genuine bonds over shared interests—and suddenly, networking became something I could actually get excited about!
If you’re still not sold, consider the research. A Harvard study of a large North American law firm found that those who network effectively—both internally to secure choice clients and externally to bring in business—racked up significantly more billable hours than those who shied away from networking. Researchers have also found that professional and personal networks shrunk by close to 16% — or by more than 200 people — during the pandemic. So the more you can grow your network, the bigger your competitive advantage.
Since leaving my corporate role to become a consultant, forging genuine connections has become essential—not just for my livelihood, but for my ongoing learning and growth. In this post, I'm sharing my top tips for ditching the traditional notion of networking and instead building meaningful relationships that nurture you both professionally and personally.
How to Network Authentically
Seek Connections Everywhere: Instead of thinking of “networking” as a discrete activity with a start and end time, consider that every conversation throughout your day is an opportunity to forge a meaningful connection, whether you're at a professional mixer or your child’s soccer game. Even if you don't land a business lead from talking to the person next to you, you might just gain a running buddy or a carpool partner. I call that a win.
Perfect Your Pitch: Develop a clear, flexible elevator pitch that captures what you do without sounding robotic. Say it to yourself so many times that it rolls off your tongue and becomes easy to tailor based on your audience and how much time you have. I literally gave my elevator pitch in an elevator last week–and had to do it in three floors, so I cut out the second half! But it still landed well because I’d practiced it so many times.
Follow Up: Once a connection is made—especially after landing a new job—follow up and keep the dialogue alive. A simple check-in to let someone know you’re thinking about something they said or to share an interesting piece of information can turn a fleeting conversation into a lasting relationship.
Remember, relationships are not built in one meeting but by authentic actions over time.
Give Generously: Look for ways to add value to others—volunteer your expertise, share a useful tip or idea, or connect two people who could benefit from knowing each other. Generosity in networking often pays the biggest dividends. And honestly, it’s just a healthy way to live.
Show Gratitude: A quick, heartfelt thank-you message when someone has given you their time or done you a favor can work wonders in building goodwill and solidifying your connections. Particularly if someone introduces you to a valuable contact, be sure to circle back with sincere appreciation—it not only makes them feel valued but also increases the likelihood they’ll go out of their way to help you again in the future.
Find Your People: Join professional groups, industry associations, or communities that align with your passions. Surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals makes networking feel effortless. And if you're not sure where to start, ask peers or mentors for recommendations on groups that have truly added value to their careers.
Ask Better Questions: Move beyond the typical "What do you do?" and ask, "What are you working on now?" Genuine curiosity not only makes conversations more engaging but also helps people feel truly seen. Here are some of my other favorite conversation starters:
What are you passionate about outside of work?
What’s the best (business) book you’ve read lately?
What are you hoping to get out of this event?
What’s your favorite podcast right now?
What’s the most interesting thing you’re working on right now?
What new technology are you working with now?
Stay Interesting: Keep informed about topics beyond your immediate field—think credible news events, sports, pop culture, and scientific breakthroughs. A broad range of interests makes you a more compelling, memorable conversationalist (just steer clear of politics and religion—I’m sure I don’t have to explain why!)
Mind Your Manners: Understand the social and cultural dynamics wherever you are. Whether it's knowing who picks up the tab or showing deference with confidence, good etiquette always makes a strong impression.
Value Casual Connections: While you want to keep your network fresh, not everyone needs to be your best friend. Research shows that “weak ties” – casual connections and loose acquaintances – are more helpful than strong ones when it comes to landing a job.
Weak ties help you gain exposure to new circles you don't normally socialize within, opening up more opportunities. So keep your friends close and your acquaintances closer.
Set Clear Goals: Treat networking like any other important project—set monthly or quarterly goals to expand your circle and track your progress. A tracking system is also a good way to ensure you’re regularly connecting with the people you want to stay in touch with.
Balance Online and Offline: Leverage platforms like LinkedIn, but don't rely solely on digital interactions. Meeting people in person can transform a connection into a genuine relationship. I find that connecting with people in person often opens up conversations that simply wouldn’t happen in a digital space, where our brains are trained to be more transactional and task-oriented.
Keep Your Network Alive: Remember, your network is a dynamic, living thing! Landing a job or making a career pivot isn't the end—it's just another opportunity to keep engaging, learning, and growing.
Think of it like gardening: you wouldn’t plant seeds only on the day you need a tomato, so don’t start networking only when you need something. Nurture your connections consistently, and they’ll be there waiting for you when it’s time to harvest.
Overcoming Hurdles to Networking
Even when we know networking is essential, we're often good at talking ourselves out of forging new and meaningful connections. Here are common excuses I hear from my clients—and the strategies I use to help them overcome those obstacles.
I don’t have anything to offer.
Even if you’re new to your field, everyone has unique insights and experiences to share. Networking is as much about listening and learning as it is about contributing your own expertise, so remember, your perspective is valuable.
Also, asking good questions can help spark ideas for other people, so be thoughtful with your inquiries and you just may help someone have a breakthrough!
I don’t have time.
Networking doesn’t require huge chunks of your day, especially if you treat it like a quick daily habit. Even a few minutes spent writing a succinct, heartfelt email to congratulate someone on a promotion or forward an interesting article can open doors to valuable relationships. Plus, when you’re ready to make a career move, you’ll save yourself a lot of time and energy by having a network already in place.
They are too important/have a big job and don’t have time for me.
I don’t have to remind you that everyone, regardless of their title, puts their pants on one leg at a time. A title is just a label, and you might be surprised to learn that many seasoned professionals are eager to share their expertise with newcomers or anyone genuinely interested in their stories. The wisest leaders know they don't have all the answers and can learn from everyone—even someone junior or from a different field. If you never introduce yourself, that’s a 100% guarantee that you will never connect with them and grow your network. Instead, try asking yourself, if I go for it, what’s the best that could happen? And maybe it will.
I’m too nervous.
Feeling nervous is completely natural. But remember, people love to talk about themselves! With practice, those initial jitters can give way to authentic, enriching conversations that build genuine connections. I also try to remember that most people spend a lot more time thinking about themselves than they do anyone else, so it’s likely no one else will even notice your nerves.
The Bottom Line
In the end, networking isn’t about collecting business cards—it’s about cultivating real relationships that fuel growth. When authentic conversations replace scripted pitches, every interaction becomes an opportunity to learn, support, and connect. The more you practice, the more natural it becomes. I’ll be cheering you on as you get out there, be yourself, and watch your network flourish.
Interested in learning more about coaching and building human workplaces? Send me a note at Katherine@worksproutpartners.com. I look forward to hearing from you!